don't tell anybody i told you this: some things used to be easier for me and now they're hard and it sucks. some things used to be harder for me, too, and now they're easier, but i'm not thinking about those right now.
i think i kind of like having these pages on my site that aren't easy to find, and that probably very few people would think to look for or read through even if they do find them. there's something kind of sweet and tender about it to me. maybe i'm just kind of emotional tonight, though. i'm not entirely sure what's on my mind. i think i'm overstimulated, understimulated, and scared, and lonely, and stressed out. i think sleeping is gonna be awful tonight, one of those nights where i almost cry from frustration but can't really get any tears out. i know i've got to get up and wash the dishes and play with shadow. i know i've got to do laundry and talk to friends and work tomorrow. god, i do not want to work tomorrow. i can't call out one day a week every week, though. people keep telling me to go back to school to get a license so i can get paid better for this kind of work? i don't know. maybe. i miss making games. i need to finish some zines. i need to finish an illustration. i need to cry or something.
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